He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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