i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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