You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
