what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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