Do vagina's smell?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
