i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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