I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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