new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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