..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm really into asian looking animals
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
