we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You made out with two different species that night
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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