State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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