What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
