singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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