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Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
