Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
