Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
