you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
