Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
