I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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