Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
