You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
