i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize