you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
