Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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