Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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