She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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