I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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