hell yes lets make some ravioli
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
