i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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