Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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