Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
