Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
