i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i think my cat just said my name.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
