You can't motorboat a personality
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
