She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
