We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
