i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize