its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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