go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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