A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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