i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
