"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
