You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
