Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
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Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
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Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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