We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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