You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The Olympian is in my bed
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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