you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
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Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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