dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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