420 ftw
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
