we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
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We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
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His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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