just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
