Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
