I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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