is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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