So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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