I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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