Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
do herpes really smell.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
