Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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