your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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