wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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