i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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