so explain again why im purple
no
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
