for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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