BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
